We welcome enquiries from birth parents and relatives of children who have been adopted, living in Edinburgh and the Lothians as well as those involved in an adoption arranged by Scottish Adoption Association, the Church of Scotland, the Episcopal Church and the Lothians Social Work Departments. Whatever the circumstances of the adoption, members of the birth family need to talk from time to time about the child and their feelings of loss. It is a subject that can be difficult to discuss with friends or relatives who might not understand the feelings involved. It can therefore be helpful to talk to someone with experience of adoption issues.

Sometimes birth parents wish to pass on medical information or important family news to the adoptive parents. In these circumstances we will do our best to contact the adopters so that they can be given the information.

Increasingly we are getting requests from birth parents to have news of the adopted person. These parents find it difficult to live their lives without knowing what has happened to their child. This 'need to know' seems to affect people at different times of their lives.

Sometimes it will be during the childhood of the adopted person, sometimes it will be when they are much older.

If the request for information comes when the child is young we try to set up an information exchange with the adoptive parents, perhaps on a regular basis. This can be of real benefit to all the parties involved. If the adopted person is an adult we will try to make direct contact with them so that they can decide whether they would like to pass on information about themselves. We will also try and make this contact on behalf of other birth relatives, for instances when a brother or sister of the adopted person has been adopted separately.

These contacts between the adopted person and the birth family can sometimes lead to a meeting between the people involved. Throughout this process the counsellor will continue to offer support and advice and also protect the confidentiality of each person if they wish. It is important in these delicate situations that no-one should feel under pressure to take any action with which they are not happy. Sometimes the counsellor will make contact with birth parents on behalf of the adopted person or on behalf of the adoptive parents if for instance they need medical information for their child. This contact can be totally unexpected for the birth parents and they will often benefit from talking things over with a counsellor so that they can work out how they wish to respond.

In addition to individual counselling for birth parents and other relatives, from time to time we have group meetings for those whose children have been adopted.