Book Review

Someday This Could Be Ordinary: Our Adoption Journey, Learning Loss, Love, and Laughter by Nell Carpenter

Nell Carpenter’s Someday This Could Be Ordinary is a deeply personal and raw account of one family’s adoption journey, offering an unflinching yet hopeful glimpse into the realities of adoption. With honesty and heart, Carpenter takes readers through the highs and lows of bringing home her two children, an eight-year-old and a three-year-old, both shaped by trauma, chaos, and instability, and the formidable task of merging as a new family.

What sets this memoir apart is Carpenter’s candid approach. From the start, she makes it clear that she is not interested in glamorising her experience. The journey has been incredibly tough, changing her as a person, but she highlights that it’s also been the most rewarding and life-changing decision she’s ever made. Her writing makes you feel like you are right there with her, experiencing the emotional rollercoaster of forming attachments and creating a sense of family from a place of loss.

As an adoptive parent myself, with two adoptive children, Carpenter’s reflections deeply resonated with me. One of the key strengths of this book is how she balances the “grim and the beautiful.” She dives into the difficult emotions, from compassion fatigue, something many readers may not be familiar with but will quickly come to understand, to the challenging task of being present for children whose early years were marked by unpredictability. These moments of emotional rawness are juxtaposed with the joys of small breakthroughs, moments of connection, and the profound love that grows in unexpected ways.

Carpenter also touches on the importance of accepting help, a theme that is especially resonant for adopters. She emphasises that while the adoption journey requires strength, it also requires community. Friends and family play a crucial role, and learning to accept their support is part of the process. This is a powerful takeaway for any reader navigating the adoption process or similar life changes, it is okay to lean on others, and doing so doesn’t make you any less capable or loving as a parent.

Her storytelling is intimate and vivid, making the reader feel like they are walking alongside her and her family as they navigate the trials and triumphs of adoption. The book doesn’t shy away from the challenges, but it also doesn’t lose sight of the magic that comes with building a family through love, patience, and perseverance.

Someday This Could Be Ordinary is a beautifully written, honest, and inspiring account of the adoption process. Carpenter’s reflections on loss, love, and learning offer an invaluable perspective for anyone considering adoption, those already in the process, or anyone who wants to better understand the complexities of forming a family through adoption. There will be laughter and there will be tears, but this book is a testament to the resilience of both children and parents, and the extraordinary journey that can come from something that, on the surface, might seem quite ordinary.

You can purchase Someday This Could Be Ordinary… on amazon https://amzn.eu/d/bjSIRB6

Someday This Could Be Ordinary: Our Adoption Journey, Learning Loss, Love, and Laughter by Nell Carpenter

Nell Carpenter’s Someday This Could Be Ordinary is a deeply personal and raw account of one family’s adoption journey, offering an unflinching yet hopeful glimpse into the realities of adoption. With honesty and heart, Carpenter takes readers through the highs and lows of bringing home her two children, an eight-year-old and a three-year-old, both shaped by trauma, chaos, and instability, and the formidable task of merging as a new family.

What sets this memoir apart is Carpenter’s candid approach. From the start, she makes it clear that she is not interested in glamorising her experience. The journey has been incredibly tough, changing her as a person, but she highlights that it’s also been the most rewarding and life-changing decision she’s ever made. Her writing makes you feel like you are right there with her, experiencing the emotional rollercoaster of forming attachments and creating a sense of family from a place of loss.

As an adoptive parent myself, with two adoptive children, Carpenter’s reflections deeply resonated with me. One of the key strengths of this book is how she balances the “grim and the beautiful.” She dives into the difficult emotions, from compassion fatigue, something many readers may not be familiar with but will quickly come to understand, to the challenging task of being present for children whose early years were marked by unpredictability. These moments of emotional rawness are juxtaposed with the joys of small breakthroughs, moments of connection, and the profound love that grows in unexpected ways.

Carpenter also touches on the importance of accepting help, a theme that is especially resonant for adopters. She emphasises that while the adoption journey requires strength, it also requires community. Friends and family play a crucial role, and learning to accept their support is part of the process. This is a powerful takeaway for any reader navigating the adoption process or similar life changes, it is okay to lean on others, and doing so doesn’t make you any less capable or loving as a parent.

Her storytelling is intimate and vivid, making the reader feel like they are walking alongside her and her family as they navigate the trials and triumphs of adoption. The book doesn’t shy away from the challenges, but it also doesn’t lose sight of the magic that comes with building a family through love, patience, and perseverance.

Someday This Could Be Ordinary is a beautifully written, honest, and inspiring account of the adoption process. Carpenter’s reflections on loss, love, and learning offer an invaluable perspective for anyone considering adoption, those already in the process, or anyone who wants to better understand the complexities of forming a family through adoption. There will be laughter and there will be tears, but this book is a testament to the resilience of both children and parents, and the extraordinary journey that can come from something that, on the surface, might seem quite ordinary.

You can purchase Someday This Could Be Ordinary… on amazon https://amzn.eu/d/bjSIRB6

We Talk Adoption and Fostering (WTAF) – Our new podcast series!

We Talk Adoption and Fostering (WTAF)

Scottish Adoption and Fostering is excited to announce the rebrand of TeenTalk to We Talk Adoption and Fostering (WTAF), a platform created by care experienced youngsters for care experienced youngsters.

WTAF will officially be launching this summer with a brand-new podcast series. The podcast will focus on topics that our Ambassadors have specifically told us are important to them. Our aim is to use this platform to create a community that will:

  • Be a space for care experienced teenagers to tell their stories.
  • Be a place for care experienced teenagers to connect with other relevant services.
  • Be a space to educate others, change practice and reduce stereotypes on adoption.

Supporting our Ambassadors to create the initial podcast episodes will be our summer intern Joy who is joining us for the summer. Find out more about her role here.

For more information about our Ambassador program or to contribute content to the We Talk Adoption and Fostering platform drop an email to Lynsey at ltrousdale@scottishadoption.org.

 

Meet our New Podcast Production Intern

Introducing Joy …

We are excited to share that Joy will be joining the Scottish Adoption and Fostering Team over the summer as our Podcast Production Intern. Joy, a University of Glasgow Masters Student, will be spending eight weeks interning with us from June. Her main focus will be working alongside our Young Ambassadors to launch our We Talk Adoption and Fostering Podcast, formerly known as TeenTalk.

We Talk Adoption and Fostering (WTAF) is a platform that has been created to give a voice to young people with experience of being in the care system. As part of this platform we will be launching a small podcast series that covers a range of topics our Young Ambassadors have highlighted as being important issues to them – stay tuned for more information over the summer!

Asked about how she is feeling about starting her internship Joy said, “I am really looking forward to my role within the Scottish Adoption and Fostering team over the summer, and particularly excited to work alongside the young ambassadors.

We know Joy is going to be brilliant in her role and look forward to sharing some of the podcasts that she helps to produce!

 

Where to find us during Pride month!

We will be at three Pride events across the Central Belt of Scotland.

It’s the start of June and that can only mean one thing – Pride Month! This year we are excited to share that the team will be at the following Pride events:

  • Edinburgh – 22nd June
  • Fife – 29th June
  • Glasgow – 20th July

If you are planning on coming along to any of them, please let us know! Alternatively, if you would like to help on one of our stalls or join us on our march drop us an email on info@scottishadoption.org. We would love to see you there.

In 2023/24 one in two of our adopters was from the LGBTQ+ community, something that we are really of. If you are at an early stage of considering adoption or fostering and would like an informal chat with a member of our team please reach out as we would be more than happy to help. We can also put you in touch with our families who have already adopted so they can share their honest experiences with you.

Scottish Adoption and Fostering celebrates after receiving National Lottery funding to support Therapy Centre

Find out more about how our funding is going to be spent.

Scottish Adoption and Fostering is celebrating after being awarded funding from the National Lottery to support its work continuing the delivery of wraparound therapeutic activities that support effective adoption and fostering in Scotland.

Scottish Adoption and Fostering’s Therapy Centre has been running for over ten years and is run by a team of qualified social workers, therapists and support staff from Scottish Adoption and Fostering’s Edinburgh office.

The new funding from The National Lottery Community Fund, which distributes money raised by National Lottery players for good causes and is the largest community funder in the UK, will provide pre and post adoption support for individuals and families including therapeutic social work, counselling, parent support groups and play therapy.

Sue Brunton, Chief Executive of Scottish Adoption and Fostering, says: “We’re delighted and very grateful that The National Lottery Community Fund has recognised our work in this way. Now, thanks to National Lottery players we will be able to extend the amazing work currently carried out by our After Adoption Support Team in supporting families who are at various stages in their adoption journey.”

The National Lottery Community Fund recently launched its new strategy, ‘It starts with community’, which will underpin its efforts to distribute at least £4 billion of National Lottery funding by 2030.

As part of this, the funder has four key missions, which are to support communities to come together, be environmentally sustainable, help children and young people thrive and enable people to live healthier lives.

National Lottery players raise over £30 million a week for good causes across the UK. Thanks to them, last year The National Lottery Community Fund was able to distribute over half a billion pounds (£615.4 million) of life-changing funding to communities.

To find out more visit www.TNLCommunityFund.org.uk

 

Proud to be the only certified W.I.S.E. Up Program Provider in the UK

Find out more about how our W.I.S.E. Up workshops can help you and your family.

W.I.S.E. Up is an empowerment program designed to create a safe space for children to express their feelings about being adopted and to prepare them for intrusive and insensitive remarks from others as they get older. Questions they might encounter might include:

“Why don’t you look like your parents?”
“Where are your real parents?”
“Why don’t you live with your real family?”

The After Adoption Team at Scottish Adoption and Fostering are fully trained W.I.S.E. Up practitioners, in fact, we remain the only fully accredited organization in the UK. We regularly host in-person W.I.S.E. Up workshops at our Leith agency with the aim of helping to teach children that they can decide if, when, and how they share their own adoption story.

If you would be interested in attending a W.I.S.E. Up workshop or are looking for more information about how Scottish Adoption and Fostering could facilitate a workshop within your organization or agency reach out to us at info@scottishadoption.org. We would love to help!

You can also find out more about the program and our accreditation here: W.I.S.E. Up!® | C.A.S.E. | Nurture, Inspire, Empower (adoptionsupport.org)

 

 

School Transition Groups at Scottish Adoption and Fostering

Shining a spotlight on the great work of our School Transition Groups.

For nearly ten years Scottish Adoption and Fostering have been running school transition groups for children starting primary school or moving to high school in the new school year.

Meet the Session Leaders

Scott Mitchell – Scott is an adoptive parent and primary school teach in learning support with 14 years of experience. He is currently a Deputy Head Teacher.

Jette Lemvig – Jette is an Occupational Therapist with 15 years of experience working in CAMHS and has been part of the Scottish Adoption and Fostering team since 2015.

The Transition Groups

Each year we run two separate groups offering 3 online training sessions for parents whose children are transitioning in the next academic year.

We have already had the first sessions for our 2024 school transitioners in August last year. The session focused on readiness for school, reasons for deferring to P1 as well as help initiating transition meetings with your high school.

The second session in the program will run in March and focus on enhanced transition with adopted children in mind.

The third and last sessions run in September and is an opportunity for checking in on progress and potential need for further support.

The Benefits of the Groups

Each session offers the opportunity to meet with other parents and to have a forum to ask any questions you might have.

A lot of our adopted children find transitions in general very anxiety provoking and these are huge transitions for our parents too. This is why we feel it is important for families to be able to access support in making the transitions as smooth as possible.

Joining the Transition Groups is free of charge for Scottish Adoption and Fostering families. Please contact the office if you haven’t already received an invite and would like to attend.

 

New Funding expands Scottish Adoption and Fostering Therapy Centre Services

We have been established as a charity for over 100 years and the work that we carry out would not be possible without the support of generous donors and Charitable Foundations.

Since the start of January we are absolutely delighted to share that we have been granted new funding from:

– The Robertson Trust
– The Henry Smith Charity
– The Garfield Weston Foundation

The funding received from these organizations will go towards supporting the work of our Therapy Centre. We have a dedicated After Adoption
Support Team that are on hand to provide families who need it with more intensive therapeutic support. Thanks to funding that we receive
we are in the fortunate position to offer a range of therapeutic disciplines including: Art, Music, Play Therapy, Occupational Therapy and
Peer Support.

In addition to the organizations above we would like to thank the following organizations for the continued support:

– National Lottery Community Fund
– Cattanach Trust
– Corra Foundation
– Crerar Trust
– Jeremy Alexander Settlement
– National Lottery Awards for All

If you would like more information on how you can support the work of Scottish Adoption and Fostering visit: Support Us | Scottish Adoption and Fostering

2024 LGBTQ+ Fostering and Adoption Awareness Week

LGBTQ+ Adoption and Fostering Awareness Week takes place 4th – 8th March 2024

At Scottish Adoption and Fostering 1 in 2 of our adoptive families identify as being part of the LGBTQ+ community. This is a statistic that we are really proud of!

The 4th of March marks the start of LGBTQ+ Adoption and Fostering Awareness Week run by our friends at New Family Social. As part of the celebrations we are really excited to be hosting two virtual information sessions to share more information about either fostering or adoption. We would like to invite members of the LGBTQ+ community to attend these free virtual events, full details below:

  • Fostering Information Session | 4th March | 7pm | Register here
  • Adoption Information Session | 7th March | 7pm | Register here

At the events you will have an opportunity to hear first hand from adopters and fosterers and learn more about their personal journeys alongside experienced members of the Scottish Adoption and Fostering team who will be on hand to answer any questions that you might have. 

If you have any questions about the events please feel free to reach out to Tina at tina@scottishadoption.org.

What type of fostering is right for me?

There are many different types of fostering that foster carers can choose to specialise in, each with their own challenges and rewards. It is important
to explore which type of fostering will be most suited to you and your family.

You’re thinking about becoming a foster carer, amazing! According to research undertaken by the Fostering Network, in Scotland alone there were 4,155 children living in foster care in 2022. There remains a shortage of foster carers nationwide and we are on a mission at Scottish Adoption and Fostering to try and make a difference.

There are many different types of fostering to fit a variety of different circumstances. If you are at the start of gathering information about becoming a foster carer you might find the table below helpful:

Foster Carers

Click here for more information about our foster care services or if you would prefer to speak to a member of our team directly drop us an email. Someone will be back in touch within two business days.