Discussing adoption

Discussing adoption

My sister and I are both adopted. She really doesn’t want to tell any of our friends at school that she is adopted, but I’d like to be honest with mine. What should I do? (boy age 13).

Question: My sister and I are both adopted. She really doesn’t want to tell any of our friends at school that she is adopted, but I’d like to be honest with mine. What should I do? (boy age 13).

Response from our Ambassadors Rebecca and Arran:

I’d talk to your sister, figure out why she doesn’t want anyone to know and explain to her why you want to be honest. You will probably both learn something from each other’s views. If talking it through doesn’t result in you being able to decide between you, maybe talk to your parent/s about it and see if they can talk to your sister to come to a compromise. 

Being adopted is nothing to be ashamed about, but I do think you need to think carefully about who you tell. Telling people your adopted can lead to people asking some difficult questions and both you and your sister need to be prepared for how you want to respond. 

For advice on how to respond to tricky questions about adoption, the staff at Scottish Adoption have written a list of helpful responses on the Young Scot website (https://young.scot/get-informed/national/how-to-answer-difficult-questions-about-being-adopted).