Firsts

When you drew your first breath, I wasn’t there.

When you gave your first cry, I wasn’t there.

When you smiled your first smile, laughed your first laugh

When someone took your first photograph

I don’t know who was – but I wasn’t – there.

When you said your first word, I wasn’t there

When you held your first toy, I wasn’t there

When you rolled yourself over, when you started to stand

When you first figured out how to clap your hands

I don’t know who was – but I wasn’t – there.

The gaps in your story are a sadness we share

Those answers are things that we might never know

But we have a lifetime of firsts still to go

The bittersweet honour of seeing you grow.

When you started to talk about times you’d felt scared

When you started to question your journey from there

When you started believing you’re worthy of care

I was there.

                                                                   Leanne. Dec 2022