I See Me

Are you still trying to figure out who you are or have you already found yourself?

If the latter, congratulations! However, for those of you who are still finding yourselves, here are some things from my journey that I would like to share with you.

For me growing up, when adoption was spoken about at  school, if mentioned at all, it often came from playground insults. I heard a lot of “lol, your birth parents didn’t want you” or “Is your life like Tracey Beaker?”

I’m sure for those of you who have been pointed at and insulted, you experienced the same thing as I did when this happened. It affected my confidence and how I viewed myself.

For a long time, I took these insults.  However, within the past year, I decided, no longer! The last time I was insulted I replied with the following “No my life is nothing life Tracey Beaker and why I was adopted is none of your business”.

Back in my birth town, everyone knew me and my family as a problem family that needed to be taken care of. This impacted too on how I saw myself.

Throughout my adoption journey, there have also been a variety of feelings that have troubled me. For example, a sense of abandonment, confidence issues and a lack of control. These feelings have come from both my experiences and from how others perceive adoption as a whole.

With both, the result has meant that we as adoptees often end up feeling that how we feel on the inside, is how others think about us.

The good news is, things are getting better. Growing in age, leaving the toxic environment of school and realising that through things like work, I know have confidence that I can control my own future.

Now, when I feel negative about my past, I remind myself that only I  have the power to change my identity. . I see Me!

Chloe, aged 17, Scottish Adoption Teen Ambassador